i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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