Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
