Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize