Having a random hookup so left but love u
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
