there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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