i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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