youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
The struggles of a small town man whore
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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