just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
