This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
