Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Randomize
