dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
