let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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