i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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