best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize