2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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