Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
