I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
