my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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