Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He did a backflip because drugs
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