I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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