i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
