We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Randomize
