you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
