Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
