at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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