So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
