everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
