My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
