Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
