Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
