Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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