He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
