My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
