Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
