I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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