I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
from now on my penis is your penis
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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