You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
