Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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