how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
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