just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
