Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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