Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
