you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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