turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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