I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
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I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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