At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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