I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
