would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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