The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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