I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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