I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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