hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
no. you can't hotbox the world.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
How does it feel to date your dad?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
