That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
