You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize