I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
