It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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