The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
