You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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