At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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