Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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