the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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