i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
