Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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